The Patriot Press

Despite His Unfortunate Lack of Housekeeper, LHS Junior Still Manages to “Scrape By”

Elise Sickinger, Backpage Editor

June 1, 2020

As the troubles of isolation are bearing down upon us, it’s become apparent that no group is immune to the burdens of the coronavirus. People of all shapes and sizes have been affected by COVID-19 in some way or another, and no ...

BP Profile: Class-cutting Backlot Kid

Elise Sickinger, Backpage Editor

March 22, 2020

Stepping outside into the backlot, the frigid mid-winter air nips at your ears—you’re still trying to grow your hair out long enough to cover them. Your flannel pajama pants and Thrasher hoodie try vainly to keep you warm,...

The Missing Cell Hotel

Sylvie Cao, Managing Editor

March 22, 2020

On January 14th, 2020, Mrs. Dennis noticed loud chatter from her chemistry students. After trying and failing to bring order to the classroom, she came to the shocking realization that every single student had a phone in their hands, eyes fixated upon their tiny glowing screens. Someone had stolen her cell phone hotel, allowing students’ a to fall unregulated into the deliquent hands of Liberty’s sophomores. Since then, she’s been unable to teach due to students blasting “Renegade” at full volume. In a desperate attempt to close the cell phone loophole, Mrs. Dennis has contacted the Bugle to identify potential suspects and motives of the cell phone hotel heist.

BP Profile: Fantasy Football Kid

Sylvie Cao, Managing Editor

March 22, 2020

After a season of nervously sweating over bowls of salsa and chips and screaming at your TV every weekend, you listlessly scroll through Shakira’s Instagram to reminisce over the good moments of the 2019 Super Bowl. To cope...

“Nic-o-stickers” make waves as a cute, cuul juul replacement

Elise Sickinger, Backpage Editor

October 13, 2019

Many teen dealers are experiencing shortened sales now that the kid-friendly juul flavors we know and love are harder to come by. In a similarly woeful situation, teenagers congregating in cars before school no longer have an...

Desperate for heightened security, admin resorts to illegal cloning experimentation

Elise Sickinger, Backpage Editor

October 12, 2019

NHave you ever felt like you’re being watched? Us too. That’s exactly the feeling that junior Ijewel Atskuul had when he came to The Bugle two weeks ago. “I thought it might have just been a hallucination from all the sick...

The Library Laptop Mystery

Matthew Rubenstein, Online Editor

October 11, 2019

Many of you have noticed the newest changes to Liberty – new hall passes and chained laptops in the library. We here at The Bugle believe that there’s a sinister reason for these changes. In order to prove our suspicions,...

Burn One for Les Homies

Arne Grette and Alex Hartford

May 18, 2019

French bakeries hold a nationwide day of remembrance for Notre Dame by burning the top half of each baguette they sell. Read more below about Backpage’s coverage of the recent fire at the medieval cathedral.

ISD Approves new “Physical Violence and Revenge” Policy

Arne Grette and Alex Hartford

May 18, 2019

Theft, Slander, Murder—all terrible crimes. But the most terrible of them all has recently seen a surge at Liberty High School. Sharing spoilers is a crime as old as time. In 762 BC, a Greek comedian was murdered on stage after...

Shut Up, I’m Talking

May 18, 2019

Since the dawn of time, mankind has seeked — sook? Saked? — anyways, mankind has been trying to find one singular thing. This ceaseless quest lies at the core of our species, and yet few people today seek to continue the timeless debate. We here at The Backpage, however, are students of culture and history, and will continue the noble fight for truth and justice. One question will be answered today: Iceberg or Romaine?

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