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The Patriot Press

Kami Konnoisseur Kid

November 7, 2013


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Junior year is finally upon you. Gone are the days of hiding in the trunk of that cool senior that lives in your neighborhood to get the goods from off campus. Your parents just bought a new BMW for your birthday and you got the coveted off campus sticker so you’re all ready to explore the plethora o...

Swagged-Out Freshman

November 7, 2013


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For your first year of high school you decide you need to clear out the usual Hollister and Abercrombie. It’s high school; you need to mix it up. But what style will you choose? Motivated by the smooth flow of Tyga, Rick Ross and Drake you have a moment of clarity and decide to go for the swag look. ...

Food-Photographer-Kid

March 18, 2013


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The  life of an artist is the life you’ve chosen. To be considered as one of the greats like Leonardo Davinici or Joe Dapper is the ultimate dream of yours. Years of training have prepared you for your quest to fine arts stardom. From the humble beginning at Mrs. Calvo’s sweat shop, to your final po...

Classroom-Debater-Kid

January 3, 2013


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Quietly walking into class, you are fully prepared for the activity that you have been dreaming about for days: the debate on the two alternate meanings for the use of candles in The Crucible. In preparation you have spent many red-eye nights arguing with people in the Youtube comments section about wheth...

Keeper-of-elevator-keys-kid

November 26, 2012


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Pain is only temporary, but greatness lasts forever," you told yourself as your leg contorted back at a grotesque angle and your kneecap exploded into a million pieces. Although the ordeal to get there was unpleasant to say the least, it was all worth it the moment your sweaty little hands closed around t...

Wiener-World- Fanatic

November 26, 2012


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You were there on the glorious day that its grill was first ignited. People told you that they wouldn’t dare go near that concessionaire whose welcome sign consisted of what appeared to be paint and/or sharpie on an irregularly-shaped piece of plywood. But since that first fateful trip to that hot dog...

Turbo-freshman-HC-Kid

October 18, 2012


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Your friends told you to, "chill out" and "give it a few weeks", but such novices needn’t be listened to. You’re in high school now, and what you’re preparing for is no middle school dance at the local community center: this is the real deal. It doesn’t matter that you’re quieter than a kitt...

Wall Punching Kid

October 18, 2012


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Others simply consider it a temporary wall, just another necessity of the construction operation. But to you, it’s so much more. Anything could lie behind that nondescript wall outside of Schneider and Yuen’s rooms: an excavation of alien artifacts, Narnia, Deletis’s secret hideout —the possi...

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