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Snowpocalypse 2019 gives students a taste of freedom.

After Tukul Forskool returned to school following the two weeks of snow and mid-winter break, he had a startling revelation. He

didn’t like school. Such a radical concept was new to his peers at Liberty, but the idea quickly spread in the hallways.
Here are some ways that students have attempted to escape the restrictive laws that require you to stay in school:

Giving up school for Lent:
While this worked in the short term, this student found out that this actually angered God and resulted in him sending an old-fashioned plague of acne to his house.

An 8-waiver schedule:
This senior would have gotten away with it too, but his plans were foiled after being informed by colleges that he was effectively a junior.

Dropping out of high school: Well, actually, this one worked.

Principal Martin announces mandatory vaccinations for the Class of 2020 and below.

“These annual senioritis outbreaks are hurting our national school ranking.”

School will continue until June 27, 2019, due to snow days. Seniors will have Saturday School. We wish we were joking.

Ever since this announcement came from Liberty’s administrative team, pitchfork sales have been through the roof. Angry mobs have begun to form outside of the main office, seniors have begun boycotting class in protest, and a secret rebellion has begun forming in the tunnels below Liberty. We interviewed some of the student leaders who agreed to talk with us if we changed their names to protect them from investigation by Krogstad and Brownson.