Ask Amira: Valentine’s Edition

Amira Turner, Backpage Editor

I’m in a love triangle but the only person in the triangle who is aware of it is me. 

Now, I barely passed geometry, but if I remember correctly, a triangle has three sides. If you’re the only one aware of said triangle, it sounds like less of a triangle and more of a line. I would suggest re-taking geometry before you worry about your love life. 

 

How do I get a hot boyfriend?

It’s 2022, hot boyfriends are out. It’s the year of the ugly boyfriend. Look at Pete Davidson and Machine Gun Kelly. If you get an ugly boyfriend, you’ll always be the hot one in the relationship. 

 

How do I stand out amongst the other girls?

Easy. Brush your h/c hair out of your face. Look at yourself in the mirror with your e/c orbs. Don’t wear makeup: you don’t get how other girls have time to bother with their appearance. Throw on an old Beatles T-shirt. No one understands you because you were born in the wrong generation. 

 

What kind of guys do girls like in high school? It’s not like I’m desperate or anything…

High school girls are very into Spidermen. Whether it’s Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, or Tobey Maguire. To up your clout with high school girls, try getting bit by a radioactive spider. Also, make sure your parents and your uncle die.