After finding the new love of your life and getting her number, courtesy of a furtive glance at your friend’s phone, it’s time to turn the suave factor up to 11. Nothing will stop you from winning her heart. You guys hit it off after discovering your shared love of Mel Gibson films. The strangest first kiss ever soon follows and the relationship stage begins. You delete all your contacts from your phone to minimize distractions. Nothing can come between you and your love. By utilizing the question game, you gain the wisdom that only shallow conversation offers.

On the fabled one week anniversary, you surprise your fluffy-wuffy with a new Louis Vuitton bag and a bootleg copy of Yeezus that includes a DVD of Kanye’s rants and Grammy opinions. Wednesday is your two week anniversary and only the finest Ezells chicken will do. With the two and a half week anniversary approaching, complications arose when making reservations for dinner when you couldn’t remember your love’s last name. Oh well. Night after night you stay up past midnight with non-stop texts of “I love you.” Your friends question your sanity at every turn, but true love overpowers reason. Single people just don’t understand. On the one month anniversary you link a collective $40 in a joint bank account, cementing your love. You have gone off the deep end, but at least you have someone there with you. Semester Soulmate Kid, you’re one of us.