Classic book rankings

Ate and slayed: Educated, Lord of the Flies, The Great Gatsby, A Tale of Two Cities

Pretty good:  The Things They Carried, Macbeth, Their Eyes Were Watching God

Meh: Outliers, Perspelosis, Fahrenheit 451, Of Mice and Men, 

Pretty bad: House of Mango Street, Into the Wild, 1984

Mega Flop: Romeo and Juliet

Removed for space: Monster, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Girl with Seven Names, Chronicle of a Death Foretold,  Brave New World, Just Mercy

Charlotte- Lord of the flies (ate and slayed)

Action. Adventure. Tension. Metaphors for Jesus. War. Choir. Society. Conch shells (pronounced con-ke). The book is engaging, interesting and haunting. I still know the characters’ names and use them often to assign my friends personality traits (ie. anyone who doesn’t like the book gives off real Piggy energy) which speaks to its memorability. Plus, as an added bonus, you get to hear everyone attempt a terrible British accent.

Charlotte- 1984 (pretty bad)

This book should be used as psychological tool for torture (or a physical one because the book is always inexplicably crusty and defaced). Not only is the book boring and preachy, it’s also hard to readif you got a dollar per comma, you’d be a billionaire. Winston should win an award for “Most Worst” or “Most sexist” or even “Most likely to be written by Ben Shapiro to own the libs.” Overall, the book killed my summer vibe. 198BORE. 

Charlotte- Educated (ate and slayed)

I chose to read this book while at a family reunion, which really enhanced the overall experience. But it wasn’t just the intense gratefulness I felt for my family that made me like the book, I actively enjoyed it: It feels real and honest in a way that a lot of school-assigned books don’t. 

Charlotte- The Great Gatsby (ate and slayed)

After a long day of Junior year shenanigans, reading about the snobbiest, richest, entitled people messing up lives had the same level of cathartic relief as watching the Kardashians (with historical accuracy). The powerful descriptions within the book makes me wish I was alive in the 1920s, but if I was, I would probably be a factory worker making 10 cents a day and crippled with polio. A book both for the communist and the “material gworl” within all of us.

Charlotte- The Things they carried (pretty good)

As a hater of glamorized war books, movies and shows, I wasn’t expected to genuinely like The Things They Carried. A few chapters were significantly better than others, but the overall quality of writing was high. 

Charlotte- Outliers (meh)

Malcolm Gladwell took one intro to Stats class and called it a day. The research was really interesting and thought-provoking, but the points he was making started repeating and he lost momentum. The low-rank can be partially attributed to the dreaded “assigned summer reading” curse. Being forced to read a school-heavy book in the summer ruins any book, no matter how good. Notice how both 1984 and Outliers are in the bottom?

Charlotte- Romeo and Juliet (mega flop)

“Where art thou Romeo?” More like “where art thou NAP” because you’re putting me to SLEEP.  Reading this whole play in iambic pentameter is the equivalent of getting slapped every word you read.

Not to mention, Juliet is 13 and Romeo is 17. That’s like a senior in highschool dating a seventh grader. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but that’s more than a little weird. Wow, the theme is forbidden love! How original. When is the theme going to be interesting love or age gap appropriate love? 

Where every other book flops, Romeo and Juliet flops harder. I started wishing I was drinking the poison alongside Boreo and Flopuliet three sentences in the book. Gnomeo and Juliet reigns superior!

Anthony Ou-  Into The Wild (pretty bad)

Christopher McCandless is the definition of “I’m not like other girls.” He preached the philosophy of Emerson Thoreau in ways of transcendentalism and then he clocked out of life. I do think the philosophy was interesting, I think the main character just needs therapy. Emerson just did it better.

Anthony Ou- Their Eyes Were Watching God (pretty good)

It dove into the complexities of the 1920s. I specifically like how it explored the experience of a woman of color, specifically during that time period while addressing colorism and sexism. It showed Jami’s life in three different stages. Overall, fierce.

Mirabelle Williams- Macbeth (pretty good)

Generally, the thought of Shakespeare has me practically vomiting on the floor. But, this all changed with the introduction of Macbeth. This book had me cry-laughing from act one, and while it certainly isn’t a literary masterpiece, it did lead to the creation of a cinematic masterpiece, Motorcycle Macbeth. I’m pretty sure the book was supposed to be serious, so if that is the case then it’s a major flop, but I’m just going to hold onto the idea that it was one big joke written specifically for me. 

Mirabelle Williams- Of Mice and Men (meh)

This book was 10 percent plot, and 90 percent painful descriptions of rural scenery. I’m pretty sure I spent the majority of my time sleeping during this unit rather than reading. I wish I could explain the story, but I genuinely do not know what happened. Who wants to read a book about two men livin’ on the bayou anyways (was there a bayou…?) I think there was something about hair pulling, a rabbit farm, and dead people, probably. Who knows. Overall it was about as bland as Lenny’s beans without the ketchup.  

Naomi – A Tale of Two Cities (ate and slayed)

This is the kind of book that is chronically hit or miss, but if you enjoyed this book, you have fantastic taste in books and I wish you the best in your reading endeavors. I’ve ugly cried over a book 7 times, and twice was at the end of this book. Charles Dickens, you have my heart. 

Naomi – Perspelosis (meh)

This book was great, but it was a little hard to take seriously because of the overly simplistic art. 

Yes, the story and history is interesting. But also, it’s being told by a circle with two eyes and sticks for hair. The change in format was interesting, but at what cost?

Naomi – Fahrenheit 451 (meh)

Fahrenheit 451 is an example of a book I never want to write. The characters are so two-dimensional and bland. J.K. Rowling did a better job of writing Ronald Weasley than Bradbury did writing literally anybody in this book. The story progressed through multi-paragraph monologues rather than plot progression, and the intended message of the story came across as Ray Bradbury’s dislike for televisions and airheads then the actual messages the government was spreading.
TLDR: a dull, shallow attempt at warning people of wide-spread illiteracy and propaganda that lacks any nuance whatsoever.

Naomi – House of Mango Street (pretty bad)

I felt like I was reading a Rainbow Rowell book if it had a deeper meaning. This book is an example of good ideas–––gradual introduction of heavy, important topics like racism, elitism, and sexism to high schoolers–––executed poorly. The writing is bad, the main character is bland, and it could have done with a couple more chapters.