The Patriot Press

4th Edition 2016 Corny Corner

April 22, 2016

Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin? I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. Q: What does a nosy pepper do? A: Gets jalapeño business! My grandpa has the heart of a lion...

Corny corner

April 30, 2015

One a scale of one to March Madness, how unpredictable are your emotions? What is the homework for this class? Hey girl, are you Tim Lincecum? Because you were hot in 2008. Where are the Seahawks from? Are you a .5 lead? Because ultra-fine. What type of food do they serve at Kami Teriyaki? What...

Valentine pick up lines

Connor Cherry, Backpage Editor

April 30, 2015

Are you a Red Bull? Because I would gladly waste my money on you. Good thing I brought my library card ‘cause I’m checking you out. Are you the Ukraine? because I’m going to illegally annex your land. Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call when I fall in love.

Fact Fortress

November 26, 2014

The Guinness Book of Records was originally published by Guinness Breweries as a reference for settling bar arguments. A high school played Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ as a fundraiser between classes. Students had to pay to stop it. $1000 was collected in three days. The University of Victoria...

The Corny Corner (Oct 2014)

October 30, 2014

“On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” “What did the American say to the Englishmen in the bathroom?” -“Hey! Eur-o-pean!” “Are you an exothermic reaction? ‘Cause you’re looking hot.” “What’s the best way to carve a piece of wood?” “-Whittle by whittle.” “Are...

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