The Patriot Press

4th Edition 2016 Corny Corner

April 22, 2016

Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin? I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. Q:...

Corny corner

April 30, 2015

One a scale of one to March Madness, how unpredictable are your emotions? What is the homework for this class? Hey girl, are you Tim Lincecum? Because you were hot in 2008. Where are the Seahawks...

Valentine pick up lines

Connor Cherry, Backpage Editor April 30, 2015

Are you a Red Bull? Because I would gladly waste my money on you. Good thing I brought my library card ‘cause I’m checking you out. Are you the Ukraine? because I’m going to illegally annex...

Fact Fortress

November 26, 2014

The Guinness Book of Records was originally published by Guinness Breweries as a reference for settling bar arguments. A high school played Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ as a fundraiser between classes....

The Corny Corner (Oct 2014)

October 30, 2014

“On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” “What did the American say to the Englishmen in the bathroom?” -“Hey! Eur-o-pean!” “Are you an exothermic reaction? ‘Cause you’re...

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