Forum for student expression since 1977

The Patriot Press

Forum for student expression since 1977

The Patriot Press

Forum for student expression since 1977

The Patriot Press

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Wall Punching Kid

Others simply consider it a temporary wall, just another necessity of the construction operation. But to you, it’s so much more. Anything could lie behind that nondescript wall outside of Schneider and Yuen’s rooms: an excavation of alien artifacts, Narnia, Deletis’s secret hideout

the possibilities are endless. How could you refuse such a possibly delightful surprise separated from you by a mere temporary barricade? As an overly curious student, it is not your job, but your duty to breach the barrier and shed light on what unspeakables lay behind it.

You face the wall and give yourself a steady stance. Channeling your inner Jackie Chan and making a fist so hard that it hurts, you quietly meditate before your explosion of force. Small gaggles of onlookers accumulate at both ends of the hallway. You mentally pinpoint where your fist will soon impact like a heat seeking missile. The crowd shares a mutual held breath. “HYYAAAAAA!!!!”- You let forth your pent-up fury in one glorious strike, and grimace in satisfaction as you feel plaster crumble before your knuckles. You peer through your hole and gasp in horror at the sight that meets your eyes. However before you have an opportunity to spread word of the atrocity you see, massive wood-stained blast doors engulf the entire wall to once again cover up any evidence of the administration’s conspiracy. Random wall-punching kid, you’re one of us.