It’s that time when we celebrate the best of the best, from Best Picture to Record of the Year. We spend millions of dollars to praise our favorite media moments, but what about the worst of the worst? What about the things that unite all people through unadulterated hatred and loathing? I introduce to you, The Ickys, the awards where we celebrate the things no one else will.

Worst Wi-Fi: The Portables 

The portables deserve their own Ickys category: there’s no bathroom, no water fountain, they’re out of the way, and there’s always a weird draft, but the Wi-Fi truly takes the cake. Liberty isn’t known for its high-speed internet, but usually, you can muster enough connection to send a text or google a textbook problem, but not in the portables. In the portables, you get the treat of hopelessly switching between ISD-guest and ISD-secured to try and access Canvas, only to realize it’s the end of the period and you have spent 90 minutes trying to open a single tab to no avail. 

Worst Self Esteem Moment: The Front Facing Camera

Say it’s a sunny day, you feel cute, everything is going your way. You pull out your phone to snap a quick picture of a pretty flower and BAM! You’re assaulted with the more horrendenous view of yourself from an angle that would make Timothee Chalamet look like a gargoyle. Your day is now ruined. No matter how many cute selfies you take, or how many compliments you get, you cannot shake the image from your head. 

Worst Gut Feeling: Getting a “k.” text from your mom

There is nothing more passive-aggressive than a singular “k” and a period. It feels deeply hurtful yet so passively uncaring. They’re two simple characters that say everything you don’t want to hear. The worst part is, you know she doesn’t mean it. You’ve seen her Facebook account, you know she doesn’t know any better, but it still hurts.

Worst Time: 2:40 (a.m. or p.m.)

2:40 p.m. is high school purgatory. 15 minutes left in class is too long to commit yourself to re-energize but too long to count down until your freedom. If you’ve ever been awake at 2:40 a.m., you have experienced a chaotic dream state. If you have not, you are healthy.

Worst Award: Best Improvised Jazz Solo (Grammy)

I don’t know what an improvised jazz solo is, but I’m entirely convinced I could do it. Jazz is all about playing unique notes in the wrong order right? Also, this is the only improv Grammy, and there should be more.