Person who knows march madness: 

There has not been a second this past year that I haven’t thought about basketball. Ever since last March Madness ended, I have been studying profusely. Stat sheets and practice brackets pile high in my bedroom, so much so that I end up holding some of them when I sleep. Last year I predicted Gonzaga was gonna win, and I was devastated. That ended my four-year streak of correct predictions, and this year, I am determined to begin that streak again. I’m so confident in my abilities to win Warren Buffin’s one-billion-dollar perfect bracket challenge that I’ve already dropped out of school and moved out of my parent’s house. Once I win that, I’ll buy my own house and my dream car. I’m so excited! I’m predicting that Gonzaga finally takes home the W this year.

Person who knows nothing: 

I couldn’t care less about basketball. And March Madness. Why are they all so mad? Like I literally couldn’t care less. Did I already mention that? I usually fill out a bracket, but only because I’m forced to. My family always does a competition every year that I am required to take part in. What is the point? It’s just taking guesses at something that won’t even matter after March is done. Anyways, I always just pick the mascot that I like better. For example, Duke vs. Syracuse. Blue Devils vs. Otto the Orange. The Blue Devils would smack the Orange, and a Blue Devil is so much cooler. Therefore, I pick Duke. Also, Duke has better colors. Blue is such a cool color. Orange is so ugly. Ew. So, my main strategy is looking at the mascot and colors. It never really works, but it makes it fun for me.