Ah, astrology, the stock market for hot people. As the holiday season kicks into full drive, it’s impossible to figure out unique, thoughtful gifts for everyone in your life. Instead of aimlessly scrolling through Etsy and Amazon for the perfect gifts, pull out every oat milk drinking, winged eyeliner wearing, platform shoed teen’s favorite thing: astrology. Below, I’ve compiled a list of perfect gifts for every zodiac sign under the sun.

Aries (March 20 – April 19) 

A punching bag in the shape of anyone who has ever told them “no”

Taurus (April 19-May 20) 

Access to mind control 

Gemini (May 21-June 20) 

48 hours in a day

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

A Better Help subscription

Leo (June 23-August 22)

Diamond-encrusted Tesla

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

A phone-free staycation 

Libra (September 22-October 23)

Internet clout 

Scorpio (October 23-November 22) 

A day of silence 

Sagittarius (November 22-December21)

A day with no consequences 

Capricorn (December 21-January 20)

A 10-year planner

Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

To be told they’re not like other

Pisces (February 18-March 20) 

To be told they’re doing great