Last year on New Year’s Eve, I wrote down two specific resolutions for myself: get over my fear of yellow stoplights (I never know whether to slam on the brakes or step on the gas), and relate to the Joker less. A little weird, but it’s my personal journey, and you’re not allowed to judge it. Now, as 2021 draws to a close, I still shudder and pee a little bit when I think about those stoplights, and just last night I found myself drawing clown makeup on my face and dancing to creepy classical music in a public restroom. I think it’s safe to say that I failed both my resolutions, but things will change in 2022. Below, I’ve listed my resolutions for the new year that are a little more realistic than last year’s. 

1. Stop spending all my money at RVC and QFC 

Almost every school day, my friends and I go off campus for lunch. And every day, I crowd-fund $18 for coffee for four people or a random 30-pack of mini cinnamon rolls (yes this happened), and then my friends never pay me back. I will put an end to this in 2022, possibly resorting to requiring proof of Venmo to enter my car for lunch. 

2. Place accurate priorities on homework

I have been doing this thing lately where I’ll do get-ahead work instead of work that is due the next day. Or, similarly, I will do my easiest work first and save my most time-consuming work for 11 p.m. I need to be a changed student when we come back from winter break. 

3. No falling asleep in class

When given the option to use my desk as a nice pillow and take a cat nap or pay attention to a long lecture that makes my brain ache, I often choose the former. However, my teachers get mad at me for this, and so do my peers when my snoring is as loud as a freight engine. I also have hallucinative dreams that cause me to talk and move in my sleep, so it scares other students when I unconsciously start screaming and dashing around the classroom when they’re just trying to learn about derivatives. To prevent this, I will stop using school as my personal sleep space in the new year.

4. Develop organizational skills

In the classroom, I like to empty out my entire backpack onto my desk in each class. This makes it so that I never have to dig through my bag for a certain pencil or notebook, but it also causes a massive mess and ends with piles of my things falling to the floor throughout the class. Every time one of my folders makes a large thud upon impact, the whole class cringes. At home, my desk is no better. I have a month-old trail mix carcass laying haphazardly in my workspace, a tangled mixture of earrings and necklaces on my textbooks, and dozens of tissues sitting in the right corner of the surface that have been left behind after my daily breakdowns over math. Cleaning my work areas next year might help clean up my overall character. 

Overall, things are looking up for 2022. As long as I stick to my resolutions, I’m bound to have a perfect year.