The BLUE PATRIOT takes on Liberty

Daniel Flash, Backpage Editor

In an alternate universe, the evil Liberty High School teachers have taken over the school, and there seems to be nothing in their way to stop them.


What just landed on the field? 

The Blue Patriot has come to save the day! And he is ready to defeat the teachers.

First, the Blue Patriot will face down English teacher Ms. Daughters. She poses a worthy adversary, yet never fear, the Blue Patriot knows Daughters’ one weakness, her biggest fear: comma splices. The Blue Patriot releases an endless wave of comma splices upon Ms. Daughters, and she vanishes. 

Next, the Blue Patriot takes on Mrs. Hafferty from the math department. He has previously visited her evil lair and noticed her poster about cash cab errors. After some quick algebra calculations, the Blue Patriot uses his power of cash cab errors to frighten Mrs. Hafferty. His second opponent is finished. 

Continuing his conquest, the Blue Patriot faces Mr. Level. Just as with Mrs. Hafferty, the Blue Patriot has been spying on his opponent and has discovered Mr. Level’s Achilles’ heel. With one strike, the Blue Patriot turns in an unfinished annotation, and BANG, Mr. Level is gone. 

The Blue Patriot has almost saved the day. But next up might be the hardest challenge yet: the science department. The science department knows how the world works and can use their powers of physics, chemistry, and biology to defeat any opponent that gets in their way. 

But this won’t stop the Blue Patriot. He has just the plan. With one slashing motion, the Blue Patriot releases his power of the incorrect use of sig figs, and just like that, all the science teachers have been vanquished. 

As the Liberty students cheer and go on with their days, the Blue Patriot travels to New York where he fights Thanos with the Avengers. Don’t remember seeing him in the movie? You’ll just have to watch it again.