Schools crack down on dabbing and bottle flipping epidemic

Car accidents. House fires. Gunshot wounds. Dabbing. Bottle flipping. What do these all have in common? Their extreme danger. This is why Liberty’s handbook video has banned dabbing and bottle flipping on premises, for fear of the incredibly harmful side effects of these actions.

Studies have shown that dabbing and bottle flipping can directly lead to higher incarceration rates and increased consumption of highly illegal substances. In a study put on by the Dangerous Activities Bureau (DAB) and directed by Dr. Ino Little, it was shown that nearly 100% of all “dabbers” and “bottle-flippers” eventually end up dead at least once in their lifetime.

“Our findings were astounding to me,” Little said. “I never would have thought that dabbing and bottle-flipping were this dangerous, but I was proven wrong. This is an issue that needs to be dealt with immediately.”

Some of the dangers they discovered were quite astronomical in their scale.

“When one flips a bottle, it creates a butterfly effect,” Little explained. “The effect can go so far as to create tsunamis in Japan. We’ve actually found out that the reason for the recent hurricanes was because of excess bottle flipping in America.”

Schools have begun to crack down on the dangerous activities. Districts, such as the Issaquah School District, have made strict no-exception policies on the actions.

“There is no excuse for this kind of behavior,” Issaquah School District worker Idone Getit said. “We believe that if we make it a no-exception policy, it will completely end the pandemic.”

Unfortunately, this has not been the case. Kids from every school in the district have done the opposite.
“I don’t see a problem,” Skyline student Tota Lee Sane said. “It seems relatively harmless. It just makes no sense.”

We tried to get more in depth with Sane, but she was unfortunately arrested mid-interview and was unable to reach us.

The inability of students to understand the epidemic is a troubling issue among school faculty and parents. Issaquah School District parents and teachers have teamed up to create the Anti-Dabbing and Bottle-Flipping (A-DAB) movement, tasked with bringing about awareness to the issue.

“We tour around the nation, giving talks and lectures about how the dangers of dabbing and bottle-flipping relate to you in your everyday lives,” A-DAB founder Sue Perdum said. “So far, we’ve seen very little change—these kids are stubborn—but we believe that we can make a serious impact in these kids’ lives.”

A-DAB recently partnered with the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) to make dabbing and bottle-flipping illegal, under the listing of a Schedule 1 substance, along with other well-known and dangerous substances such as heroin, ecstasy, and meth.

“Legally speaking, a Schedule 1 drug has the potential for extreme abuse and physical or psychological dependence, all of which we see in dabbers and bottle-flippers,” Perdum said.
As more and more research is done, we will try to keep our readers updated on the dangers.