Gritty Groceries- Safeway delivers the knockout blow

James Ricks, Backpage Editor

The latter half of 2015 saw one of the greatest fights of our time, as Safeway faced off against Haggen’s groceries in a long and brutal struggle that critics are saying rivaled even the bitterness of the McDonald’s v. Burger King Heavyweight title of the late 90’s.
And so, for those of you that were out on 4th street last year, and those who weren’t, here’s the Backpage’s exclusive coverage of the fight that would determine this year’s second-rate, off-campus lunch location.
In one corner was undisputed crowd favorite, Safeway. Before Haggen’s had muscled its way into the neighborhood at the beginning of last year, Safeway had been a familiar face for years, and weighing in at a stone-cold $400 million in net worth, was a formidable adversary.
Haggen’s knew it. Sweating visibly at its brow, the out-of-town underdog knew from the begning its days were numbered. Having just left its native Bellingham, Haggen’s was out of its element, its meager experience not nearly rivaling that of the former champion. Commentators pointed out early on that its slimmer inventory couldn’t possibly hold up in a sustained fight.
And then they met in the ring.
Taking the early offensive, Safeway delivered a feral right hook to the newcomer, drawing blood. Superior sandwiches and overall lower prices noticeably took the wind out of Haggen’s sales/sails, and it never truly recovered.
Offering a haphazard counter, Haggen’s swung wide with a reckless uppercut, trying to promise to be the “greener, fresher” grocer, but ultimately came up short.
And finally, the killer blow. Safeway delivered a knee to the face to end the match as Haggen’s closed down Jamba Juice. The verdict was clear as Haggen’s waxed comatose and had to be rushed to the hospital: 4th street is Safeway’s territory.