Social Media Justice Kid

Galen Posch, Online Editor

As you sift through your Facebook feed, you ignore the random inspirational quotes, pass over the selfies, and snub your fellow ailing student asking for advice on the Honors English group page. Only one thing can rouse you from your social media silence. It’s only when you see some cowardly wretch talking crap about somebody safe behind the privacy of a closed Facebook group rather than doing what a mature adult would do: confronting who they have an issue with publicly and making a scene. Filled with intense indignation and rage that somebody would dare to insult somebody behind their backs, you spring into action. You have come well-prepared with a repertoire of petty insults and condescending comments to back up your cogent argumentation and show firmly that you are the intellectual superior of your classmates. But it doesn’t end there. Not only are your classmates so dishonorable as to talk behind people’s backs, but they, in their infinite, unending immaturity, fail to recognize your wisdom and obvious moral high ground and decide to argue against the bulletproof reasoning of your comments. Snorting at the sophomoric arguments and pedestrian writing of your childlike classmates, you rush to defend yourself against their idiotic comments, which boil down to simple insults and empty rhetoric. There is no question in your mind that they are entirely wrong and that their actions show their childishness. After all, who’s immature enough to get into arguments with their classmates over such a trivial issue on social media? Social Media Justice Kid, you’re one of us.