Easy College Elitist Kid

Galen Posch, Online Editor

You’ve waited for five excruciating months, and finally, your moment of grace has arrived. The letter you hold in your hand will decide your fate, and by extension, the fate of the universe. Here, you will find out whether the effort put into filling out your application (no essay required of course) will pay off, or if your blood, sweat, and tears will all have been in vain. You open the envelope and, with intense hope and intense trepidation, scan for three simple letters—y, e, and s. And you find them; you’ve been accepted. Words cannot describe the intensity of the sense of bliss that envelops your being. That the acceptance rate was 99% is meaningless; this is and always will be your greatest achievement. Once you’ve come back down from your higher state of pure emotion, transcending logic and reason, you have only one thought in mind—the world must know. As you make the Facebook post, you reflect that the picture you have taken of your acceptance letter rivals the works of Picasso and Rembrandt in its artistic value. THIS is something that somebody besides your mother will like on Facebook. Minutes after the submission has been made, the likes begin to roll in. You bask in the admiration of your peers, assured that you have achieved something extraordinary. Obviously you disregard the three posts above and below yours also celebrating getting accepted into college. You can’t say why, but somehow, yours is different. Yours is special. Something inherent to your acceptance makes it a completely unique accomplishment, unlike anyone else’s. Easy College Elitist Kid, you’re one of us.