The Patriot Press

Turf Turds: rubber demons from hell

Nikayla Copenhaver, Staff Writer

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Turf, turf turds, rubber, black bits–whatever you call them, you probably see them everywhere.  For us athletes, we know especially how annoying these pesky little things can be, and just how far into our lives they invade.

There have been reports of people finding them in their beds, cars, clothes, phones, and even in their food.

One morning, senior Cassidy Rimmer was shocked to find that turf turds had found their way into her scrambled eggs.

“It was ridiculous.  These things follow me everywhere, and now I’m even finding them in my breakfast,” Rimmer said.

Another sophomore athlete, Ali Gouge, thought that her phone was broken and went to get it fixed.  The problem? Turf turds in her charger port.

For those of you who haven’t experienced vacuuming your room once a week to prevent a field from forming, or you’ve never had to spend three minutes shaking turf out of your jeans, or if you’ve never found turf in your food–consider yourself one of the lucky few who have escaped this plague.

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Turf Turds: rubber demons from hell