Hydration Investigation

Giovani Castaneda, Staff Writer

Nondescript classroom:

5/10

An all-around average choice for hydration can be found in this random classroom which, despite Tester 1 comparing it to pool water, tastes like water squared. The convenience of not having to leave the classroom also contributes to its rating. 

Library fountain:

6.66/10

The best water found in Liberty, the library provides, (at least compared to other fountains) a refreshing and crisp alleviation to the dry throats plaguing the school’s population. Its drawbacks are tapered to a pretty identifiable mineral taste and a strong initial stream which is more likely to shoot up your nose than to enter your mouth – take it from someone with personal experience.

L-cafe:

4.5/10

The greatest discovery of our investigation, unfortunately, was the appalling realization that the L-cafe water came straight from the sink! With only some ice and lemon to combat the notes of the fish tank dechlorinator, this water is only barely salvable. During the tasting, Tester 2 announced that while drinking the slimy, warm drink, they could undoubtedly tell it came straight from a kitchen sink.

PAC fountain:

-200/10

If you are ever curious to know how water used to grow rutabagas, then as fish bath water, and finally to ferment mold tastes, look no further than the Performance Activity Center water fountain. This water single handedly caused Tester 1 an hour long stomach ache and induced myself into a coma only escaped through a magnanimous amount of ice. The offensively warm temperature paired with the distinct aftertaste of teenage sweat creates a wholly distasteful experience that I would not recommend to anyone. My fellow water connoisseurs and myself leave this fountain convinced that it is the true reason for the closed bathroom.