All I want for Christmas is for Santa to leave me alone. I mean seriously, what is his deal? He sees you when you’re sleeping? He knows when you’re awake? It’s giving Joe from You a lot more than it’s giving Christmas cheer.

Also, when is it ever okay to climb down a chimney? Not only is it highly inefficient, but it’s just not the way to enter someone’s house. But then again, Santa doesn’t seem to mind the annual infraction of breaking in and entering someone’s house.  

If it wasn’t for the gifts, none of us would tolerate his behavior. He bribes us with gifts for being good and threatens us with coal when we’re bad. In fine print, he writes down if we’re naughty or nice, but who isn’t a little bit of both? Santa is manipulating all of us to live perfectly behaved for the entire year. Then we have to put out cookies and milk FOR HIM after he broke into OUR homes. This is not a win-win situation.

And what’s up with elves? Where did they come from and how did Santa employ so many?? Is he paying them? They are expected to work 9-5 jobs all-year- round doing Santa’s dirty work like making toys for kids ALL AROUND THE WORLD. All Santa has to do is deliver them on his sleigh. I’m not even going to bring up how the rich kids seem to receive A LOT more gifts than everyone else.

Santa needs to put himself on the naughty list. He must be stopped.