Spot-stealing suckers

Nathan Jackson, Editor In Chief

You don’t see them, but they see you. They watch from the shadows, ready to strike when you’re gone. And when you leave…they steal your spot. They’re like parking spot pirates. Even when you show up, they’ll still roll the dice and park where they don’t belong. Students pay for spots, and when they can’t park in the spot that they paid for, well, that’s stealing. Sophomores who partake in such a malicious act, you deserve to have your car blocked from leaving a spot. Not only is it dumb, but it’s rude. People need those spots to park their cars and they’re being stolen by the hellspawn that are spot stealing sophomores. May the god of parking spots curse them with excessive fines and perpetually low gas tanks.