Beef: Unhooked on desk hooks

Tatum Lindquist, Staff Writer

You make your way to your desk, stressing over the loads of homework looming over you. You go to sit down and hang up your backpack on the desk’s fabulous desk hooks, but inevitably your backpack plummets to the filthy floor. No, you did not drop your backpack, but rather it appears your teacher has failed to face the hooks outwards. Instead, the hooks remain squished up in between the desks, condemning your backpack to rot on the public high school carpets. You slump in your seat, seething with frustration as your teacher starts talking. How could he possibly do this? Does he realize the value of this first edition Doctor Who T.A.R.D.I.S. collector’s backpack? Within seconds, people start tripping over everyone else’s backpacks, your usual stress level spikes up, your backpack splits down the seam and its contents erupt across the floor. Doomed as a student and now a Whovian, you plead to teachers everywhere: don’t hide our desk hooks!