Epic battles of LHS: science vs. tech-ed

WHO WOULD WIN?

Jacqueline Rayfield and Hannah Matson

The Science Department: strategic masterminds

At some point in your time at Liberty you may have wondered who would win in a fight between the science students and the tech-ed students. No? Well we are going to attempt to settle this debate anyway, right here in the Patriot Press.

Everyone knows the science department is tough; from the formidable Eleonor Schneider to the infamous Mark Buchli, there is no doubt that these teachers are a force to be reckoned with. With their training, science students would be equally formidable.

These students could use any number of attacks. They could easily blow up their opponents with the atomic bombs created in the back rooms of the science department. Their knowledge of rockets combined with the secrecy of the back rooms would be perfect for hiding a sinister plot.

With this knowledge of chemicals, they could even use the age old tactic of poisoning their enemies’ water supply to get an edge in combat. Who knows what dangerous compounds the expert science students could create? Could it be the dreaded Cheese Balls?

Not only do they have this skill with chemistry on their side, they could also harness the power of nature. Have you ever wondered what all that algae the biology department grows is really for? Dinosaurs. That’s right, not only are these mad scientists growing plants, they are growing dinosaurs “Jurassic Park” style. A few minutes in a cage with a Tyrannosaurus Rex and even the toughest tech-ed student would be finished.

At this point you’re probably thinking there is no way anyone could defeat these science whizzes, and you’d be right. But just to seal any opponent’s fate, there is one more attack for the scientists to fall back on. Even if the tech-ed students manage to make it past all the other attacks, the science students can send out their most dangerous weapon: holy smoking gypsies riding humping cows. There is no fear like staring down the hall at gypsies on cows charging towards you.
Those tech-ed students just don’t stand a chance.

 

Don’t sell Material Science short

Anyone who thinks that students taking traditional science classes would have the upper hand in a combative situation against students taking alternative courses such as Material Science clearly has no idea what goes on in the 6000 wing. Material Science students are more than capable of taking on the best and brightest of Buchli’s battalion.

Career Tech Ed classes go beyond theoretical knowledge: they spend 35% of class time on lectures and worksheets and such, with the remaining 65% spent on hands-on labs. This real-world experience would transfer beautifully into a showdown between Material Science and traditional science classes. Students in regular Physics and Chemistry courses complete a lab every other week; Biology students complete a grand total of ten labs over the entire school year. When it comes to building real-world knowledge, Career Tech Ed wins.

Furthermore, the course content of Material Science is focused on composites, metals, ceramics, and polymers, materials which are all around us. Glass? That’s a ceramic. Cement? That’s a composite. These student’s understanding of the physical world around them would give them a formidable advantage.
But surely Career Tech Ed students wouldn’t be able to defend themselves from the onslaught of dinosaurs and corrosive chemicals that traditional science students have at their disposal, right? Well…not quite: the tools that Material Science students have at their disposal are no laughing matter. These students work with materials like metals and glass twice a week—and they have access to glass cutters regularly. The 6000 wing also has its own set of chemicals that rivals the Chemistry department’s, furnaces that go up to 2000o Fahrenheit for melting bronze (on an unrelated note, bodies cremate at approximately 1500o), and blowtorches. Yes, blowtorches. Conclusion: Material Science students are more than capable of defending themselves, as well as making a few offensive moves of their own.