I always thought I was going to be the person to make my college decision on May 1^st, and continue to second guess myself throughout the summer until I officially started school – maybe even after that. I’ve always been that kind of person – never 100% sure about the choices I was making, and always weighing the pros and cons to try and determine which decision was best for me. Luckily, everything fell into place when I visited Washington University in St. Louis and I had a very easy time declaring it the place I would spend the next four years.

It led me to reflect back on my characteristic indecisiveness throughout high school, and to realize that I could change some of these habits for the future. Ultimately, in many cases a decision you make is irreversible, so there is no use fretting over it once it has been made. I now understand why some of my friends wouldn’t like to talk about tests after we’d taken them: it was over – why worry about what we did wrong now? Or I understand Ms. Cooke’s advice about multiple-choice tests – don’t go back and change your answer once you have filled in a bubble, because there was some reason deep down to why you chose that answer.

So I’m learning to accept that for any decision I make, there was some internal intuition that led me to that choice. There’s a good reason I chose WashU; a reason for going out to a movie with friends on Tuesday night; a reason for picking ‘C’ (other than it being the default I-have-no-idea answer). It’s freeing to be able to let the anxiety go, because I can enjoy the moment more without worrying about things I can no longer change. I has definitely taken me longer to get to this point than I should, but I suppose late is truly better than never in this case.