We need to cancel March

Ciena Sakamoto, Staff Writer

That time of year has come and gone once again, and if you are reading this article, it means you survived. Not only did you survive all of the tragedies of the pandemic and online school, but you survived all 31 days of the awful month of March. And it was probably just as bad as past years, if not worse. 

I know how radical this is going to sound, but we need to get rid of the month of March immediately. Simply cross it off of the calendar and MARCH right past it like it was never there. 

Let me tell you why. I am fairly certain that it is nobody’s favorite month, and we would lose absolutely nothing except one day about a leprechaun. Have you ever met anyone who says Saint Patrick’s Day is their favorite holiday? Yeah, me neither. There are no presents or festivities, no candy or scavenger hunts, only pressure to wear a color no one looks good in or else physical violence ensues.  Perhaps the worst part is that there are no school days off in March, and it’s way too far from spring break or summer to start kicking back and relaxing.  Sorry to all my March Pisces and Aries, but you don’t really need a birthday anyways. 

Of course, you are probably wondering what I propose we replace March with. For a quick history lesson, Julius Caesar made up our 12-month calendar in 45 BC. Even Apple has more updates than our calendar. Ridiculous! So, the answer is so obvious: skip straight from February to April and add a month after July. We can all agree a longer summer wouldn’t hurt anybody. Let’s call it Julius’s March.