School is scarier than Coronavirus

Charlotte Ury, Opinion Editor

As Covid-19 vaccines are distributed and quarantine passes its first anniversary, schools are creating plans to let students back into school. 

Instead of cheers, however, the school district was shocked to learn that for students, the fear of school is bigger than the fear of Covid.

As students nervously daydream of days without breaks and having to get dressed in the morning, here’s an idea of what the first day might look like.

“Zoom meant I could take a picture of the screen and text it to all of my friends with the caption ‘Boredddddd lol’,” senior Blan K. Screan said. “But now the teachers are making me actually talk to people when we do worksheets together. This is not the school I remember.”
When asked, sophomore Joe Sophomore cried into his hands, “It’s not open note. IT’S NOT OPEN NOTE.” The girl who never actually took notes but rather pictures of the teachers’ notes lay face down on the ground next to him. Both were wearing pajamas.

Freshman Diden Paytention’s first-day Google searches included “map of Liberty High School,”“what lunch food is best,” “why is school so big,” “where is my classroom,” and “why does Liberty have four gyms.”

“We’ve seen hundreds of students try to mute themselves during class and then claim internet problems when called on despite making eye contact with us,” chemistry teacher Opena Resorca said. “I’ve even had one student wave his dog in front of me to distract me from assigning homework.”

Unable to fathom the idea of having to sit in a classroom, junior Judy Junior simply refused to go back to school at all. “I’d rather go to the Pike Place Market and lick the gum wall than return to that place,” Junior said.

It only took us a year to get used to quarantine, but it can’t take us that long to get used to in-person school again . . . right?