The Patriot Press

BP Profile: Sentimental kid

December 15, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

You’ve always been the sentimental type. Throughout your youth, you obsessively scrapbooked and made sure to collect the signatures of every single kid in your grade for your yearbook. As you’ve grown up, you’ve kept every single toy and stuffed animal, writing your favorite memory about that...

BP Profile: Skiing kid

December 15, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

After water skiing every day of the summer, you eagerly count the days until the first snow falls. You walk through the hallways every day, fully decked out in your ski gear. Your classmates have learned to duck whenever you walk around a corner so they don’t get hit in the head by your skis. Every...

BP Profile: Sad School Is Over Kid

June 2, 2017


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You wake up, but the sweet siren sound of your alarm is not there to greet you. You lay there for hours, your mood becoming worse and worse as the realization sets in: summer has begun. You consider trying to sleep until fall, but eventually give up on that. Finally crawling out of bed, you slumber...

BP Profile: The Average Kid

June 2, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

You awake at 6 AM on the dot to a loud, relaxing “BEEP. BEEP. BEEP” followed by the daily yelling of your family to change your alarm -- but you’re too lazy to do so. Plus, it’s the clock’s default alarm, and there must have been a reason for that. Then, you dress yourself in your daily...

BP Profile: Always pranking kid

May 11, 2017


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First thing you do when you wake up every morning is grab your air horn and run to your sister’s room. She’s about to be pranked. BWAAAAPPPP. Satisfied that she has been properly woken up, you grab your whoopee cushion and head downstairs. You treat your family to a lovely breakfast of pancakes...

BP Profile: Always getting pranked kid

May 11, 2017


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It’s approximately four minutes and fifty-three seconds until the most dreadful day of the year: April Fool’s Day. You haven’t slept for the past week because you fear awakening to a world that only consists of atomic wedgies and plastic snakes. You think to yourself, in your “lucky” meditation...

BP Profile: Grades obsessed kid

Annabelle Smith, Staff Writer

May 11, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

First thing in the morning, you unlock your phone and your favorite app, Skyward Mobile Access, is already open. You gasp in shock when you see your AP Bio grade; it’s dropped from a 99 to a 98. That’s it. Your day is ruined. You will never be successful in life, never get into Harvard, never get...

BP Profile: First World Problems Kid

May 11, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

You wake up from a horrible night’s sleep; your laptop’s screen was lit up all night and you were too lazy to get out of bed and close it. To make matters worse, you forgot to plug in your phone last night. You’re only at 97%! You think to yourself, “How am I going to survive the day without...

BP Profile: Too hyped for Christmas Kid

March 27, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

They smell you before they see you walking in the hallway. Wearing your grandma’s ugly sweater that survived in the closet three generations too long and exerting the light scent of peppermint, you pass them by. When they turn their heads around ready to shush the annoying noise behind them during...

BP Profile: Never Actually Awake Kid

March 27, 2017


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

New Years is a time to make resolutions for the upcoming year, but many people don’t end up following through. Here at the Backpage we have predicted how Liberty student’s resolutions will go: I want to save my money: On January 1, looking at the grand total of $26.31 in your wallet, you vow...

Backpage Profile: Early-onset senioritis kid

April 22, 2016


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

The warning signs started off small. Innocent. You spent hours watching Netflix. You didn’t to start homework until 9 pm. You spent hours googling pictures of baby animals. But by the time second semester hits, things have taken a turn for the worse. It’s harder and harder to drag yourself out of...

Backpage Profile: Thesaurus Kid

April 22, 2016


Filed under Backpage, Backpage Profile

You sit down to write your English essay on the theme of To Kill a Mockingbird. The paper is due tomorrow, and you’ve only just started it now; you better make sure this seems like you tried hard on this one. It starts out alright with a nice introduction but as you get to your body paragraphs, you...

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