The Patriot Press

BP Profile: Class-cutting Backlot Kid

March 22, 2020

Stepping outside into the backlot, the frigid mid-winter air nips at your ears—you’re still trying to grow your hair out long enough to cover them. Your flannel pajama pants and Thrasher hoodie try...

BP Profile: Fantasy Football Kid

March 22, 2020

After a season of nervously sweating over bowls of salsa and chips and screaming at your TV every weekend, you listlessly scroll through Shakira’s Instagram to reminisce over the good moments of the...

BP Profile: Sentimental kid

December 15, 2017

You’ve always been the sentimental type. Throughout your youth, you obsessively scrapbooked and made sure to collect the signatures of every single kid in your grade for your yearbook. As you’ve...

BP Profile: Skiing kid

December 15, 2017

After water skiing every day of the summer, you eagerly count the days until the first snow falls. You walk through the hallways every day, fully decked out in your ski gear. Your classmates have learned...

BP Profile: Sad School Is Over Kid

June 2, 2017

You wake up, but the sweet siren sound of your alarm is not there to greet you. You lay there for hours, your mood becoming worse and worse as the realization sets in: summer has begun. You consider...

BP Profile: The Average Kid

June 2, 2017

You awake at 6 AM on the dot to a loud, relaxing “BEEP. BEEP. BEEP” followed by the daily yelling of your family to change your alarm -- but you’re too lazy to do so. Plus, it’s the clock’s default...

BP Profile: Always pranking kid

May 11, 2017

First thing you do when you wake up every morning is grab your air horn and run to your sister’s room. She’s about to be pranked. BWAAAAPPPP. Satisfied that she has been properly woken up, you grab...

BP Profile: Always getting pranked kid

May 11, 2017

It’s approximately four minutes and fifty-three seconds until the most dreadful day of the year: April Fool’s Day. You haven’t slept for the past week because you fear awakening to a world that only...

BP Profile: Grades obsessed kid

May 11, 2017

First thing in the morning, you unlock your phone and your favorite app, Skyward Mobile Access, is already open. You gasp in shock when you see your AP Bio grade; it’s dropped from a 99 to a 98. That’s...

BP Profile: First World Problems Kid

May 11, 2017

You wake up from a horrible night’s sleep; your laptop’s screen was lit up all night and you were too lazy to get out of bed and close it. To make matters worse, you forgot to plug in your phone last...

BP Profile: Too hyped for Christmas Kid

March 27, 2017

They smell you before they see you walking in the hallway. Wearing your grandma’s ugly sweater that survived in the closet three generations too long and exerting the light scent of peppermint, you pass...

BP Profile: Never Actually Awake Kid

March 27, 2017

New Years is a time to make resolutions for the upcoming year, but many people don’t end up following through. Here at the Backpage we have predicted how Liberty student’s resolutions will go: I...

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