The Patriot Press

Disappearance of kids who set the curve

Tatum Lindquist, Editor in Chief

November 24, 2018


Filed under Backpage, The Artichoke

I don’t have much time; they’re on to me. I don’t know if they’ll find this, or if they don’t, if anyone will read it, but I must attempt to reveal the truth. Liberty’s culture equates students’ grades and test scores to their worth as humans—making enemies of students who set the...

What truly goes down in the chemical storage room?

November 24, 2018


Filed under Backpage, The Artichoke

It's no secret that Buchli stows away his students’ backpacks during a test in the chemical storage room, but his motives are far more horrifying than anyone could have ever imagined.  The brave speculate that he plants nano-sized cameras on cell phones to track how often his students use social media....

Hot or Not? of History

September 26, 2018


Filed under Backpage, The Artichoke

Hot: Martin Luther’s heretical bestseller The 95 Theses The Discovery of Coffee Europe finally letting go of its colonies The Invention of Fire Socrates inventing his patented Socratic Seminars ™ The Scientific Revolution Not: King Tut’s early death (RIP KT 1324 B.C.) ...

Banned Homecoming dance moves

September 26, 2018


Filed under Backpage, The Artichoke

Liberty Homecoming has a timeless tradition of tasteful dancing. But it wasn’t always this way. Here are the most vile, scummy dances from Liberty’s unregulated dancing era. “The Sweaty Sock” This classic dance move was a homecoming staple until Mr. Kennedy tried the move back in ‘99....

Liberty Football asserts American dominance

Armurica Greatlee, Artichoke Editor

September 26, 2018


Filed under Backpage, The Artichoke

It’s not often that barbarians come to challenge you in your national sport. But that’s exactly what happened on August 31, the Friday before school started. They came from the north. With Canada having also declined to pay for a wall on their border with the U.S., it’s unknown if they came...

The Artichoke

Alexandra Fordhart and Alex Hartford

September 26, 2018


Filed under Backpage, The Artichoke

We here at the Artichoke have your best interests in mind. So in order to serve our loyal patrons, we have compiled the most important (and completely true) news headlines of the last few months. Always remember to stay informed! July 3 - After being faced with questions, Jon Kinsley explains that $1...

Forum for student expression since 1977
The Artichoke