BP Profile: Too hyped for Christmas Kid


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They smell you before they see you walking in the hallway. Wearing your grandma’s ugly sweater that survived in the closet three generations too long and exerting the light scent of peppermint, you pass them by. When they turn their heads around ready to shush the annoying noise behind them during a test, only to find you whispering, “Baby its cold outside,” a little too passionately for comfort.
When questioned about what coffee you like, you break out in hysterics, screaming that it is only acceptable to drink coffee out of the “CHRISTMAS”- not just red- holiday cup. After that, they know to never ask you about your coffee. During class you are always the first one there, pushing past the teacher to write on the white board the classic “days left until Christmas” update. The countdown on your phone always keeps you and everyone else preoccupied, every passing minute followed by a squeal of happiness and excitement.
You win all of the costume contests with your Krampus outfit, on occasion even scaring the children while trick- or- treating out of believing in Santa – he is only yours to believe in.. You are the loudest one during the pre-Thanksgiving week, spitting thanks left and right, making the best of the opportunity to thank the world for the existence of Christmas. You run through the mall pushing past the line of excited little kids and angsty teenagers to get the most perfect picture with Santa. You shove your Christmas list at him; longer than any Level essay you have ever written.
Too hyped for Christmas kid, you’re one of us.

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