The Starbucks secret menu is a myth

Carlyn Schmidgall, Senior Writer

The Starbucks secret menu is a myth
We read it online, so it must be true: Starbucks has a secret menu, filled with whimsical wonders and enchanted elixirs. We plot for weeks the magical concoction we’ll order, and when we finally step up to the register, we grow impatient when our requests is only met with confusion. Not only is it irritating for the customers behind us who have to wait through our rants, but it’s outright disrespectful to the baristas whom we expect to cater to our every demand—no matter how unreasonable they may be. It’s one thing to ask for an extra pump of a specific syrup, but expecting an imaginary drink to be made on command is impossible and flat-out rude. It should go without saying, but sometimes we fail to grasp what should come along with a basic sense of humanity: Starbucks baristas are not our coffee slaves. In addition to being actual human people, they are the patron saints of the sleep-deprived and the over-worked, propelling us through our mountains of work and lack of sleep. It’s unfair to demand coffee while being inconsiderate to the baristas we expect provide it to us. We need to keep this in mind next time we attempt to order a frosted rainbow raspberry mocha.